Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
