oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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