Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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