jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
