Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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