she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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