I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
