10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
