I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
