Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize