2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!