addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
