I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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