grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
