She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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