Are we in a gay sports bar?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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