You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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