Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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