Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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