there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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