i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
