So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
