I just saw a hot homeless man
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
