Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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