you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize