sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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