My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
