well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
