Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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