as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
