your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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