I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
