you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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