I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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