nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
