I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
