dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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