I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
