know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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