we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to calm my uterus...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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