But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
