Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
