i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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