I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
