she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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