Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
