M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We are two peas in an std pod
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
