whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize