so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
