If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
