I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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