I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
