DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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