she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
