marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
