let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So squirting runs in the family.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize