Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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