just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize