Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize